Jessica. 18. Taken. Bisexual. L&M Reds. BumFuck, Pennslyvania. Sushi. Daisies.
You know what bothers me? When people hold themselves back. You wanna get a tattoo? Get one, fuck. You wanna suck a dick? Do it dammit. You are your own person. Do what you want & what makes you smile.
someone explain to me how parents can scream at you until you’re crying and then act like nothing happened 20 minutes later
my goal is to be the ‘we didn’t notice her in highschool but damn we should’ve’ girl
One of the things I hate is that if you aren’t bipolar, OCD, autistic, ect, it’s considered perfectly acceptable to be all “ha ha I look autistic” “feeling a little bipolar today”, but if you actually do have a mental disorder, then god forbid you talk about it, you attention-seeking over-dramatizing romanticizing monster.
this is the realest thing I’ve ever read
if yall dont reblog this at least once today yall fucking up
Today I had a teacher tell me that a family member of theirs attempted suicide with pills.
I asked why he didn’t seem more concerned, and he replied with “people who attempt overdose are just attention seeking.”
Tell that to my grandma while she had to shower me for a month because I couldn’t stand after my overdose.
Tell that to my younger cousin who didn’t understand why I slept for three days straight.
Tell that to my bestfriend who saw me cry in every moment I was awake for two weeks after I swallowed those little pieces of hell.
Tell that to my brother who watched me vomit up everything I ate because my stomach was on fire.
Tell that to my teachers who watched me fail my exams because I was so dizzy and out of it I couldn’t stand, let alone concentrate.
Tell that to my mum, who watched me violently shake, sweat, convulse and cry in her arms because I didn’t want to be alive.
Go on, tell them it’s attention seeking. I dare you.
Be careful who you vent to.
I’d be content if I had a blunt and someone to smoke it in bed with me.
I’m literally to the point where I can’t take any of this anymore. I’m pretty sure no one that I know personally checks my blog and if you do personally know me & read this, please do not worry about me & do not bring it up to me, I’ve gotten through this plenty of times by myself & I can do it again. Everyone sets these high ass fucking expectations for me and gets all butt hurt when I don’t live up to them. I am 18 years old, in college full time, work 30-40 hours a week. I can’t do fucking everything and be everything you want me to be. My stress & anxiety is going through the roof. STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT. PLEASE. It’s starting to get the best of me and I’m scared. I’m turning back into the person that I told myself I never would be. I normally don’t post this kind of shit but I just need to get everything out & I’m tired of hiding it. The past couple months have been a nightmare for me. The way I feel, I would never wish it upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. Things got a little better once my girlfriend came into my life. She doesn’t deserve to have to deal with this, she didn’t sign up for this. I don’t want to disappoint her but I will. She is honestly the best & I wouldn’t want it any other way. But just because my girlfriend is perfect & treats me right & makes me happy, does not mean that I am actually happy. I just hope she doesn’t leave me like how everyone else has left me in the past because they can’t deal with my mental illnesses & it gets too hard for them to deal with me. People get this idea that I’m always so happy & I don’t care about anything, but honestly it’s the exact opposite. Tonight was terrible. I hate thunderstorms. Thunderstorms are the biggest trigger for my flashbacks. All I did was relive my past & cry until I couldn’t anymore. I’ve been clean from cutting since May 3rd & tonight I almost broke that. I know how fucking stupid of me. Eh, I know it’s good that I didn’t but I was just so fucking close to doing it. I’m scared that I won’t be able to stay clean. I’m scared of everything to be honest. I just wish I could stop living like this & have it all go away. But on that note I’ve ran out of things to say & I’m going to try to go to sleep as hard as it’s going to be. Night.